


Just Want You To Know

by KidNyx



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-22 19:10:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13770678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidNyx/pseuds/KidNyx
Summary: Despite everything, Nick just wants to let Brian know one thing.





	1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

* * *

 

Nick tried so hard to open his eyes as he felt Nacho lick him. His lids seemed to be stuck like glue, trying to flutter them open all the way. As he scowled through bleary vision, the wrinkled face of his little buddy greeted him.

“What’s happening, Nacho?” he slurred, carrying the dog onto his stomach. Nacho never woke him up like this. He did jump on the bed every day to have a little morning cuddle time with Nick and Lauren, but never to lick them awake.

Was there something so important today that he could be forgetting about? Nacho just stared back, probably wishing he could clearly send his message to daddy Nicky through his gloomy-looking yet adorable eyes. Still holding his pet on his stomach, Nick blinked a few more times until he got a less fuzzy sight. What could his buddy be telling him? He couldn’t remember anything urgent sitting atop his mentally-simulated to-do list.

Yawning, he glanced to find an empty bed on his right side. That was when he remembered his wife hadn’t been home for days now. Lauren had gone to Europe to reunite with some of her old folks, as well as to take care of business. She would be gone for two weeks. It’d only been four days and Nick would always almost cry and beg over the phone for Lauren to come home. It’d been a few days, and he still couldn’t get used to the absence of the warmth that only his wife brought.

So this was probably how Lauren felt each time he went on tour with the Boys for 300 days a year.

Wait, the Boys… why was there something to that thought? He chewed the inside of his cheek as he tried to pinpoint whatever it was in this little morning mystery game with his own hazy mind. He knew for sure that they were not on tour, in fact they were already on break for six weeks now. He also knew for sure that there wasn’t any upcoming live television appearances or fan events to prepare for.

Nacho’s jaw dropped flat to Nick’s tummy. He felt the dog sigh heavily, perhaps feeling hopeless that Nick would never remember what was supposed to happen today. Still, he tried harder. It was just so funny how he always seemed to have a hangover every morning even when he wasn’t that much of a drinker anymore.

In a bored but intent manner, he scratched his head, trying to figure out things. The Boys. Today. What was the happs?

He was almost falling back to sleep when the perfect answer flew into his head out of nowhere.

Nick’s eyes widened in just a slightly excited way. The Boys are coming over… He sat bolt upright as he finally conveyed his dog’s message after a fashion. “Good kid,” he whispered, patting Nacho’s head and setting him by his side.

Getting up, Nick made slow, weak steps to his bathroom. He washed his face and took about five seconds to take in his woke-up-like-this image in the mirror, his dirty blond hair spiking into various directions. The rest of the guys were coming over as planned just two nights ago, when Nick had randomly messaged Kevin to let him know his legendary red pants were still in his luggage. Nick had just intended to make his big brother laugh, and hadn’t expected when Kevin had suddenly suggested going to his place – not to retrieve the pants, but to actually see him.

Then like a domino, the message had easily gotten to Howie, and then to Brian, and then to AJ, until they’d all just decided to kind of hang out at their baby bro’s crib, thinking how lonely he must have been feeling with his wife away.

And today, despite feeling irritated by the need to clean up a little and prep up the house for the arrival of his very familiar guests, Nick was thrilled by the thought of his big brothers keeping him company. It had been six weeks since they’d last been together. He could swear that today was going to be a lot of fun.

Just like the old times.

Even though so much had happened.

While some didn’t, there were a number of things that had changed over the years. Some were for the better, and some weren’t. He sighed. _What the fuck?_ He’d no idea why he suddenly felt like reflecting on life early in the morning. Really? In the middle of taking a piss?

He walked back into his room. He sat down on his bed by Nacho’s side, who was now peacefully taking a nap because he’d successfully accomplish his mission of reminding Nick. Taking his phone, he lightly put his thumb over the home button to unlock it, surprised when it opened to his playlist. He suddenly remembered. He’d been randomly playing songs on his phone, it’d been the last thing he did last night before he’d drifted off to sleep. He knew he’d been playing songs between Drake and Twenty One Pilots, and even a little bit of Fetty Wap, so he was surprised to see that the last song played was their oldie but goodie, “That’s What She Said.” Well actually, the song had been performed by Brian alone.

He couldn’t remember listening to it last night. Perhaps he’d been in such a deep sleep to even remember. He didn’t know. Feeling oddly interested all of a sudden, like it was going to be his first time hearing the song, he tapped the play button. Staring blankly, he listened to the soft percussion intro of the song. Then the beginning notes came on, and Brian’s humming filled his ears.

Nick’s lips suddenly twitched into a half-smile, remembering the story behind that song. Brian had written it after breaking up with his girlfriend at the time. Perhaps Brian hadn’t wanted to show how badly it’d hurt him, because Nick remembered how the guy had still been able to put on a goofy face and be as giddy as he could despite the circumstances. Nick had been young, but not that young to not understand what had been going on. But that was just Brian – he’d never wanted his problems to affect anyone in the group.

Now he wondered why he was being quite reflective again. Nick licked his lips and continued listening. ‘Always forever, all the things she said. Never say never, those simple lies that she fed…’ He contemplated on the lyrics. He just realized how hurt Brian must have felt then. Back then, Nick had just thought the song was good, and how great Brian had done on it. But it was only now that he realized how sad and painful the message actually was. Because, thinking back, Nick could only recall how Brian had been so, soooo…full of life.

But it was probably because Brian hadn’t let it show.

He started to sing along. The song was beautiful, but a bit too far from what Nick usually liked. He’d long understood the individuality and uniqueness of the five voices in the group, as well as their own different tastes. What Nick sang, sometimes appealed to Kevin. What Kevin liked, AJ sometimes liked. What AJ wrote, almost always got loved by Brian. What Brian sang, Nick liked to listen to but didn’t like to sing. And what Howie played in his car, Kevin found too addictive even though AJ mimicked the artists’ voices to make fun of Sweet D. “That’s What She Said” was a wonderfully meaningful song, but he believed he could never sing it with conviction like Brian could.

Very randomly, a memory faded into his head – one in which Brian would make fun of his voice by trying to press his nose as he sang like him.

Unconsciously, Nick let out a chuckle at the memory. He honestly never got offended by his friend’s jokes. He knew to himself that he sounded nasal, especially during their early days, but Brian, despite making jokes like that, had always been the one to make sure that Nick also knew how uniquely beautiful his voice was. That that squeak to his tone was one of the things the fans had loved about him. That he sang with passion like no other.

Yep, the faded pictures were still clear in his head. Nick used to think Brian was the best singer out of all five of them in the group.

He still did. He still thought so, up to this day. Despite Brian’s vocal issues…

He had no idea why he was thinking about these things. Nick recalled again, how Brian, despite being the most incredible singer among the rest of the group, would lift up an innocent Nicky by dropping encouraging word after encouraging word.

Nick had also been aware of criticisms where their voices got compared a lot. Pursing his lips, he thought of how different he and Brian were…but at the same time, deep inside, he kind of liked to believe they weren’t that different at all. But because of how Brian had approached the situation, and how nothing but a humble and inspiring bandmate Brian had always been, Nick never felt small. He knew this, because Brian had made sure of that. He’d always made sure Nick never felt any form of insecurity when they were growing up.

Seemingly coming back from his contemplative daze, he raised a brow. He mentally asked himself again, _why am I thinking about these things_?

He didn’t know.

Well, he probably did. It’s just that he didn’t want to acknowledge it. Yeah, he did know what this was about. It was that moment again – that particular time on desolate row where he got so thoughtful, reflecting on his life, and feeling certain things for reasons he couldn’t comprehend.

Like missing the old days.

Like wanting to go back in time.

Like wishing some things never changed.


	2. Chapter 2

The actual truth was, Nick was overall happy. Just plain happy with everything going on in his life, every aspect of his life. He was happily married to the perfect woman to complete his soul. He’d been exploring life more by engaging into activities that he’d always dreamt of doing, just enjoying life. The Backstreet Boys were still going strong, stronger than ever in fact, and it was because of their incredibly dedicated fans. And, he had his four brothers. Everything was fine. He was happy, he couldn’t ask for more and was forever grateful to God.

However, another honest truth sunk deep down between the many crooks inside his heart – that had been brought by the tough times he’d gone through in the past – was that small but persistent voice, longing for something that had faded a long time ago.

He raked a hand through his messy hair as he made his way downstairs. He thought he already knew why he’d been pondering on this too much. It was because of that comment on that YouTube video last night. As a result of his late-night YouTube spree the previous night, he’d stumbled upon a video of him and Brian doing their little act with the guitar during their In A World Like This tour. How he’d gotten there from watching tons of thug life videos, he’d no idea, but he’d gotten there. The video title had said “Frick and Frack Funny Moment IAWLT Tour.” He was supposed to give the guitar to Brian but had tried annoying him by strumming it raucously and not handing it to him.

He’d smiled wide, then, because the video had made him feel happy. He’d scrolled through the comments, and had come across one that had seemed to send a pang to his heart.

_Makes me smile to see Nick and Brian goof around like this again. Sadly, Frick and Frack aren’t the same anymore. I miss the solid Frick and Frack so bad. :’(_

Nick was 35 now. He’d been in the business since he was 12 years old, and with all the criticisms and bashing that’d been thrown at him and the Boys over the years, he was confident to say he’d gotten used to it a long time ago.

But for some reason, that online comment from last night seemed to be one to give him a really tight pinch to the heart. And it wasn’t even some kind of hateful bashing at all. Just a fan expressing her sentiments over something that had changed over the years…sharing the longing that Nick now had.

That he’d been having for…years.

He walked into the kitchen and headed straight to the sink to work on the unwashed dishes. There he went again, trying his best to ignore what he thought was a senseless, irrational thought. He wanted to get over it. What he didn’t know was that he could never get over something by simply ignoring it.

He didn’t know why this was still itching him. There were times when he totally felt he was over it, that he’d completely accepted it, but then there came those solitude nights which only let him revive those emotions he’d always tried to shake off.

Wiping them dry, he carefully set the plates on the rack. _Brian and I are ok_ , he mentally told himself.

 _We’re totally ok_.

They were.

Him and Brian were still good friends and still treated each other like brothers. This was true. Sure, they’d have arguments here and there, from time to time, but it was only normal and they soon made up. It was healthy for them, for the group.

But long gone were the days when they’d been the original two peas in a pod. The days when they almost hadn’t cared about where Kevin, Howie, and AJ were, because all they’d cared about was that they were together.

That assurance that they got each other, all the time.

Long gone was the Frick and Frack spirit.

And it bothered him that he craved for something that was long gone.

Of course he knew how times had changed. Like AJ had once said, people change. It was just a bit different now. Nick just wished, that he’d still gotten that chance to grow with his best friend as these changes had trundled on them. That they had still walked the same road together while going through some out-of-control changes.

But this wasn’t how it had all felt. To Nick, he’d felt as though Brian had switched paths, travelling a different road and leaving Nick behind…alone. No matter how much he knew it had never been Brian’s intention, it still made him feel sad just thinking about it.

Brian had to start his new life as a family man, then.

Slowly, he pulled out a chair from his dining table and plopped down on it. He pulled the bread bin close and started munching on a slice of wheat bread. He’d always said he never wanted to blame Brian for that damage, but he’d honestly felt he’d done it unintentionally on several occasions. Shaking his head to rid of the nostalgic thoughts, he let out a breath and smiled to himself.

A sad smile.

It was one of the biggest physical contradictions that humans did. The sadness was there, but they still smiled because they understood that they were still satisfied despite the yearnings that sometimes came over. He stretched as his eyes landed on the clock on the wall. 8:45 AM. Damn, it was early. Not too early for him to be up, but way too early for his pensiveness. Quickly deciding that he was full with just a slice of wheat bread, he took a glass of water and got up. When he stepped out of the kitchen, Nacho was already by the stairs, waiting for his daddy to take him out on a walk.

* * *

  
Nick was busily cleaning up some mess he’d made the previous night in his living room when his cellphone rang. Standing up for a moment, he tried to remember where he’d last put his phone and search where the ringing was coming from. He finally walked up to the couch and pulled his phone from under the plush throw pillow. He slid to answer.

“Hey man,” Nick greeted calmly.

“Mr. Cartier!” AJ crackled from the other line. Man, AJ had no chill. He was thinking maybe AJ was already approaching his house or something, but he certainly hoped not. Nick only laughed. “So! Is everything set up in the Cartier household?” AJ had been using that new name on him for a while. Nick was funnily thinking that AJ was on something.

“Uhmmm… kind of?” He casually surveyed the living area to examine the ‘little cleaning’ he’d done. He was proud of it.

AJ sighed on the other line. “Actually, don’t even answer ‘cause I know full-well that that’s a lie.”

“Shut the hell up, I’ve done pretty well here.” Nick let out a chuckle.

“Whatever, buddy.”

“Wait” - Nick started to pick up some more clutter from the floor as he held the phone with his shoulder – “don’t tell me you’re already on your way?! It’s too freaking ear – “

“Dude,” AJ cut him off. “Calm down, I’m still in bed. Geez, you’ve lost all chill of chillibilities.”

Nick froze, his mouth open over what he’d just heard. “Wait a min – what the hell did you just say?” He started cackling at full volume.

AJ was now laughing, too. “What? I said chill of chillibilities.” Nick cackled one more time. “Wow, dude I can’t believe this is the first time you heard that shit.”

“My first time hearing it? Well yes, because no one in the universe even knows that word! There’s not even such thing as ‘chillibiddeez’ on Earth.”

“It’s chillibilities, you idiot.”

He rolled his eyes even though AJ couldn’t see him. “No one cares.” They both laughed. “So you’re still in bed? You disgusting lazybones.”

“Yeah buddy. I’m still in bed and called just to remind you that we’re coming.”

“Pshh. Of course I know that.” He rolled his eyes again. “Maybe you meant to say, you called ‘cause I’m your first thought when you wake up.”

“Oh God,” AJ said, sounding disgusted. “Don’t flatter yourself, little Nicky.”

Nick laughed. “Whatever,” he said, annoyed by the old school nickname. “But honestly I think you should be prepping up now.”

“Now look who wants to see me so bad,” AJ snickered.

“Right. Whatever,” Nick retorted. “All I’m saying is, you need to at least get up and do something you lazy ass.”

AJ laughed boisterously, causing Nick to move the phone slightly away from his ear. “Wow. Technically you’re still, and forever will be, the baby of the group so I won’t listen to you.”

Nick shook his head, grinning. “Dickhead. Your nickname should’ve been BonER instead of Bone.”

“Well that’s been my fictional pornstar name so technically I’ve already been known as Boner ever since.”

How many freakin’ nicknames had AJ had all his life?

Nick rolled his eyes for the nth time. “Geez you’ve used the word ‘technically’ like half a dozen times now.”

“It’s only been the second time, dumbass.”

Nick opened his mouth and then closed it back again. “Whatever. Just get here ASAP!” He exclaimed, not knowing what else to retort to his smarter, annoying brother.

AJ laughed a laugh of victory. “Aight buddy, I’ll see you in… 5 hours.”

“What do you mea – “

AJ let out another overexcited chortle before hanging up on Nick.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, an expression he did whenever he lost playful banters like these to one of the Boys. He sat back up and tossed his phone to the couch. Somehow, somewhere deep in Nick’s invisible-added-highly-performing-brain somewhere in his head, he believed that AJ was just pranking him. That this was all just another one of AJ’s little tricks.

Ha! They messed with the wrong Backstreet Brother, all four of them knew full-well that Nick “Kaos” Carter was the top Backstreet Prankster. He grabbed his phone again, suddenly so deeply focused now on browsing some kind of funny revenge to master for AJ’s arrival later. He actually believed and claimed that AJ had been joking, and that he was probably about five minutes away from his house.

Thumbing through several links on his phone, he smiled mischievously to himself and would laugh in ways more than one from time to time as he found some satisfying ideas for his prankster-hunger. Finally, he came across what he perceived to be the most brilliant idea: Ants in shirts.

Rushing back up to his room, he searched for some of his oldest beaters he could get. He decided on the black one, so that the ants wouldn’t be that visible. Now all he needed were ants. Keeping in mind the time he had left (caused by the strong belief that AJ was on his way), he practically flew down his stairs and sprinted to the kitchen to sprinkle some sugar on his counter. He left the wasted sweet particles on the counter for a good five minutes until ants came attacking.

Great success.

He then proceeded to collect the bright red ants and deployed them inside the black wife-beater right on chest-level. He found a cute-looking gift bag and placed the ever-ready sleeveless shirt inside before cleaning up his mess.

Greater success!

He was almost done devising his master plan on torturing AJ’s nipples when his doorbell rang him away from his adorably evil thoughts.

Nick shot his head up, mouth open, blue eyes wide and now shining with a very obvious hint of revenge. Very slowly, he closed his mouth and allowed a wicked smile to make its way to his rosy pink lips. As much as this whole plan enlivened him, Nick had yet to wait until the moment of actual execution, and for now he had to contain his excitement.

“Baby, you’re dead to me,” he actually whispered, mimicking Kevin’s famous line to AJ during their old trying days. A laugh that’d been dying to get out slowly bubbled in his chest, swirling its way up to his throat, but he refused to let it all out. He’d save it for later, during his sweet triumph.

The beautiful gift hanging by his fingers, he made his way to his house’s entrance door and composed himself. Wholeheartedly believing that AJ was the one standing behind this door now, he tried his best to put on his most effective angelic smile as he reached for the knob and pulled it open…

“Heeeeyy!!!”

Brian was standing in the doorway, wearing his Mr. Goofball grin as he chewed a gum.

Nick froze in place, gift bag in hand, the look on his face slowly transitioning from artificial warm excitement to utter confusion. His mind suddenly blank after all the serious devoted strategizing from earlier, he opened his mouth and closed it again. "Umm..." He was literally perplexed.

Is AJ just somewhere hiding? Behind the bush maybe? He couldn't bring himself to believe that it was not AJ who was standing in front of him. He looked past Brian, and started looking around, really hoping AJ was just somewhere around the corner.

"Dude?" Brian shook him, perplexed by the strange actions of Nick.

Nick looked at him, finally waking up from his illusion that AJ was playing tricks on him. He licked his lips, and smiled sheepishly at his older brother. It was weird enough to find out he'd only been imagining AJ's pranks, but Brian's presence right now gave him an even weirder vibe because he'd only been thinking about him earlier.

The bewilderment on Brian's face slowly melted down into a laugh. "What happened to your face??!" Brian asked between his laughs, slapping Nick's chest.

Catching Brian's hand on his chest, Nick's nonplussed face finally turned into a genuine smile - one that was comfortable and sincere. "Nothing, I – “ he laughed, unable to finish his sentence, embarrassed to admit what was really happening. “Nothing.” He laughed some more, opening his arms to welcome Brian into a warm hug. Both men finding weirdness in the situation, they continued to laugh, their bodies swaying a bit unconsciously as they held each other in their arms - a gesture that naturally occurred to them throughout the years.

When they pulled away, Brian was looking at the black canvass bag Nick was holding. "What's that?"

Nick looked at the bag and chuckled. "A little gift for AJ."

"That's really sweet," Brian mocked in a crybaby tone, rolling his eyes.

"It's a prank."

"Oh?" Brian perked up, his blue eyes sparkling meaningfully – a gesture which Nick acknowledged by giving a devious smile.

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! 
> 
> Posting my second work here. Decided to give Frick and Frack a try. :) Hope you all enjoy this, though I only have one chapter up for now. Hope you can let me know what you guys think of this. I'm really going to love to hear from you.


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